haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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