I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
