You can't special order awesome
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Randomize
