Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I hate all girls vehemently.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
it's like iHOP with fire
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
