More tranny stories later!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
