Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
