I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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