But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
