Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
