he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
