bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My feet surprised me
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