there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
