So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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