yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
