What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
