Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
