The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
