How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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