I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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