I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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