everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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