My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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