Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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