so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
