Say something about gay babies.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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