I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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