I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
3pm strippers are depressing
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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