He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
