Don't you send me to vm
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
