he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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