too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
