STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
