my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
