hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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