Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
