honey bunches of taint.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
