New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
