Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
how can u be prego again
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
