Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
