lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
