Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We don't watch enough power rangers
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
