Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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