Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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