So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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