How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
