have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
