He is an equal opportunity slut.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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