Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
