2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
