I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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