You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
